tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1068702647356713810.post2055582305299776341..comments2024-01-11T05:51:43.225-08:00Comments on Yoon's Blur: When you think you understand, but you really don't...Milahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14088039434355591753noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1068702647356713810.post-36636292686337757102011-05-08T18:28:23.123-07:002011-05-08T18:28:23.123-07:00Thank you so much for continuing to share your exp...Thank you so much for continuing to share your experiences in such an honest way. Without perspectives from adoptees how can we ever have any idea about how to be the parents our children deserve to have. I only hope that I can really learn and put it into practice. <br /><br />I am still (even after 2 years) left dumbstruck at some of the comments.... how do other people handle this? <br /><br />Any advice about how to reply to some of the common questions and how to equip my son to start dealing with them himself would be greatly appreciated.otjohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03442158683319095761noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1068702647356713810.post-59045878224185157132011-05-01T23:05:52.758-07:002011-05-01T23:05:52.758-07:00Good post Melissa-- I don't know why aparents ...Good post Melissa-- I don't know why aparents would ever think they/we could possibly fully understand how an Adoptee feels. <br /><br />It simply isn't possible-- we can empathize, show compassion, validate feelings and be there with a caring hug-- but we can't fix the hurt and we can't take away all these experiences that you have described. This is the reality for our kids.<br /><br />I am so very grateful that you and other Adoptees share your experiences with us.Reenahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07119020258638171080noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1068702647356713810.post-86993040742871824232011-04-29T16:30:04.592-07:002011-04-29T16:30:04.592-07:00More compassion all along the line and more honest...More compassion all along the line and more honest, real listening can never do anything but good.<br />It's the assumptions that hurt, damage and show the ignorance of the speaker.Perhaps if those who like to tell us they know, realised their foot in mouth disease is showing, it might give them pause for thought.Vonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17421069895155350144noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1068702647356713810.post-45631904018591868332011-04-29T13:39:50.236-07:002011-04-29T13:39:50.236-07:00[this is me, doing my best to be compassionately s...[this is me, doing my best to be compassionately silent.]Haleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16425646410486288854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1068702647356713810.post-26102373442087138522011-04-29T13:27:45.585-07:002011-04-29T13:27:45.585-07:00Melissa, Great post and so true. Daily we can be...Melissa, Great post and so true. Daily we can be reminded 'we are adopted' and it can happen when we least expect it.<br /><br />"Your too young to have this - does it run in your family?"<br /><br />Watching TV and adoption comes up...<br /><br />Being asked your doctor if you know when your mother started menopause...no matter how old the zingers keep coming.<br /><br />Or the comments dismissing the need for family health history - "well I don't know mine" - "They" can do something about that and if they choose to remain ignorant what does it say about them...and they will change their tune when they end up in the hospital and the doctors are stumped and then they will pick up the phone and call their family - because they can.<br /><br />I watched The Voice the other night and when one of the contestents went out and hugged his mom and dad - everyone knew he was adopted. I didn't look like my family but being a different race makes it impossible to not have the adoption card present all the time. I don't know that I would deal with that very well at all because their would be no escape, ever.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1068702647356713810.post-67163266765799312892011-04-29T12:28:43.563-07:002011-04-29T12:28:43.563-07:00I appreciate you, Kimberly...I appreciate the lack...I appreciate you, Kimberly...I appreciate the lack of "wall" that I sense and experience from you. You don't put up defenses nor do you try to justify yourself...thank you for always being willing to listen so sincerely and openly.Milahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14088039434355591753noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1068702647356713810.post-37345084005603899832011-04-29T11:58:35.264-07:002011-04-29T11:58:35.264-07:00Great post Melissa:) Seems like something new is a...Great post Melissa:) Seems like something new is always coming up with my girls so the only way to keep up with them is to continue to educate myself. Lottie is angry lots of time and all I can do is keep trying to talk to her about "why" she is angry so that one day she can put her feelings into words. But I do tell her that it is okay to be angry. I will never know how they feel but all I know is that I love them so much and I owe it to them to learn from adoptees like you. Thank you for always being honest and speaking from you heart. I pray that I will always be teachable:)The Byrd's Nesthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06729548930434689842noreply@blogger.com