Tuesday, April 20, 2010

An Adoptive Parent blogs about "God and Adoption"


An adoptive parent blogger at "Our Little Tonginattor" recently blogged about the potentially touchy topic of God and Adoption. I actually appreciated what she had to say, and left the following comment:

TM [tonggu momma], as a Korean-American adoptee, I truly appreciate your insight and honesty regarding the issue of God and adoption.

Because so many people who adopt (not all, of course, as exemplified by AwesomeCloud), claim some form of a Christian faith, I think this is a topic that needs attention.

You stated succinctly yet very insightfully, "I think that the church often conveniently picks and chooses how to interpret God's Word about adoption." I agree with you on this.

Because adoption occurs in the Bible and is used as a metaphor for a relationship with God, people of faith often make the assumption therefore that adoption is only good.

Well, rape and murder also occur in the Bible and the metaphor of an adulterous wife is also used to exemplify Israel's relationship with God, but that doesn't mean that those things are therefore good.

[Coincidentally enough, I have been working on a blog post regarding the issues of God & adoption from an adult adoptee's perspective, and will post it at some point.]

* * *

As I mentioned in the above comment, I have been working on a post addressing the issues of God and adoption, and more specifically, Christianity and adoption. I realize however, that these topics can stir up a lot of emotion for everyone involved, among both those who claim a faith and those who do not.

I am by no means hoping to instigate a religious debate or a theological discussion. I am wary and weary of such discussions since they often lead to heated arguments and boiling emotions (during which people, both those who claim a faith and those who do not, can end up saying unnecessarily mean and unkind things).

However, because God and Christianity are so often intertwined with the practice of adoption, and so many families (but again, certainly, not all) that choose to adopt claim some form of faith, these are topics that do require attention and discussion.

Yet, I do not approach these topics carelessly or lightly. Nor do I approach them as one who has the answers or claims to have it all figured out. Nonetheless, I do have a few (or more than a few) opinions on the matter, which I hope to share at some point.

However, as I have been working toward writing out my thoughts, I have done so with a notable amount of apprehension and trepidation as I anticipate how others may react, due, of course, to the sensitive nature of such topics.

I say this simply to remind us all to keep in mind that we can each share our own opinions on the matter, but to do so respectfully and with consideration--remembering how we ourselves hope to be treated.

I imagine at some point, however, that someone will choose to ignore such requests and will leave a comment that is less than respectful or less than considerate. So be it.

I suppose such is inevitable when attempting to explore such complex territory--a territory rife with an unsearchable myriad of deep and raging emotions, for all who live there.


11 comments:

klmd said...

i really look forward to reading your thoughts.....be you.....from all that i have read of your posts so far you always seem to put too words what you want to say....and say it quite graciously.....that is hard to do over the internet.....

keri

Peach said...

I look forward to reading your post about God & Adoption as well!
I have thought alot about that subject as a fellow adoptee, and blog about it under the topic heading on the left side of my blog "my thoughts on...God & Adoption".

Melissa said...

Peach, I want to read your blog, but for some reason, when I click on your blogger ID, "Peach," your blog does not come up...? I can be a bit technologically slow at times. Can you please email me your blog address: konoyoomo@gmail.com? Thank you!

Melissa said...

Peach, never mind, I figured it out... :)

Hee Jung said...

Thanks for stopping by on my blog! I am going to read all your posts in detail over the next few days, but just wanted to say that I am excited to have found another fellow KAD blogger with somewhat of a similar journey.

Mia_h_n said...

I could really relate and emphasize with TM's post, you know, without the God part. For those of you who don't know (but care), yes, I'm an atheist, but I often find myself agreeing with hard-core believers. How can that be?
Well, to me Christian points of view like the ones in TM's post aren't Christian. They're kind-hearted, caring and compassioned ways to view the world and the people in it.

I hope no one takes offense to me asking this, but with my limited knowledge and understanding of a Christian mind, I don't understand why this is such a sore topic?
Are certain views or ways of looking on adoption not very "Christian"?
Like I said, I mean no offense, I'm only trying to learn.

And Melissa, I know you know me well enough to know that I'm not trying to be insensitive with my questions.
And even though I've found your links really useful, I'd love to read you own blog take on this matter.

Melissa said...

Mia, always love how inquisitive you are :)

I sent you an email in an attempt to answer your questions...But I'm sure you'll have more questions as a result :)

Mia_h_n said...

You know me too well! ;)

a Tonggu Momma said...

Thank you so much, Melissa. I really appreciate you (and other adult adoptees) reaching out to adoptive parents who are trying to learn. And Mia, I'd love to try and tackle your questions from my perspective, but I don't have your email or a link. I started to write a follow-up comment, but it got really, really long and I gave up. If you'd like to connect, send me an email at tonggumomma(at)gmail(dot)com.

Laurie said...

Thanks for this post - found your blog just today. I am an AP - and my daughter is so little yet, but I am already tired of hearing people say that she will 'forget' everything that came before she and I were together. It makes me hurt to think of her fairly staggering loss being dismissed so easily simply because she was young when it happened.

Melissa said...

Laurie, thanks for stopping by and thank you for your comment.

You wrote, "It makes me hurt to think of her fairly staggering loss being dismissed so easily simply because she was young when it happened."

It is a staggering loss, and a very deep one.

If you have not read it, the post, "More Thoughts on Gotcha Day" (http://yoonsblur.blogspot.com/2010/04/more-thoughts-on-gotcha-day-you-cant.html) includes an example from my first moments with my adoptive family at age 6 mos that clearly indicates that being young does not preclude a child from experiencing the trauma of adoption loss.