So what do you do with families that have a complicated culture? What, for example, is the culture of our family? White? Asian? Korean? American? If we were to adopt, how do we reconcile our family with the desire I hear from adult adoptees to be in families as close as possible to their birth families?
Then we get into another one of those horrible issues with Korean culture. If the average Korean isn't going to support a single mother, or adopt her child, you can certainly bet that it'll be worse for a mixed child.
Hines Ward started a charity to help deal with this horrible discrimination of mixed children - and I'm not just talking about orphans.
It seems to me like the cultural hurdles are so high, it's going to take more than a generation for it to change.
So what do we do in the meantime? I imagine the stigma against adoption and against single mothers would change a lot faster if international adoption were eliminated (or at least significantly reduced). And yet, that leaves a generation of children in foster homes or orphanages.
So what would be the best, in your opinion? Should we try to adopt a half white child from a Korean orphanage? Should we give up the idea of adoption and work for cultural change?
I'm really very interested in hearing what you have to say...
I believe adpotees when they say that they feel the loss of culture. I mean, even look at our president. He wasn't even adopted, but he felt the loss of black culture. So would we be doing more harm than good by adopting?
About two and a half years ago we were very close to adopting. Now we have a 1-year-old and have some time to reflect about the decision before we go down that road again. Not saying "we will" this time, but "should we?"...I know the answer isn't simple, but that's why I'm asking for advice from people who know better than I do.
- Adopting internationally
- Adopting domestically
- Providing assistance to existing orphanages (there are also orphanages that house children who will never be eligible for adoption)
- Providing assistance to existing homes for unwed pregnant women and/or mothers (there are many in Korea)
- Sponsoring a child and/or mother
- Providing support to existing organizations that assist with family preservation
- Advocating for more programs & resources for family assistance and preservation
- And the like