Really the answer to each one of the following questions could easily be expanded upon and could each become a post in and of itself. Maybe at some point, I will expound.
But for now, this is all that I can churn out.
Sometimes I get so overwhelmed and find myself flailing and gasping for breath beneath the behemoth of intellectual and emotional stimulation that this whole process plops on me. I know it's inevitable. But like they say, I've got to eat this thing one little bite at a time. Or else I'll choke.
And seriously, at this point, I can't eat a thing--first I've got to work my way out from underneath it all...Besides, who wants to eat a behemoth, anyway?
I'd rather befriend it, hop on its back, and see to what far parts of the world it takes me.
Why did you decide to search? That's a whole other post really. But to be concise, because I wanted to know the unknown, the why. Is it not natural to want to know one's origins? For the same reasons that families know their genealogies and tell stories about their great grandparents and ancestors, I wanted to know what happened, from where and who I originated.
How long did the search take? About six & half years. I initiated the search in May of 2002. I got the phone call that my birth parents had been located on January 7, 2009.
How do your [American] parents feel about all this? They are very supportive--albeit, naturally and understandably, a bit apprehensive and protective. But what parent would not be? They love me and just don't want any harm to come to me. Yet they understand my need, my drive to want to know and to make the connection.
What's your post-reunion plan? Er, well, I hope for a long-term and healthy reconciliation. But I'm only one factor in this very complex and complicated equation. Ultimately, I cannot control or determine what will happen--I can only decide and control how I will respond to and deal with what does transpire.
Do your [Korean] parents speak English? That would be a negatron. No. They don't speak English. And I don't speak Korean. I'm trying to learn, but, er, that's gonna take some major time and effort. And I have my doubts and insecurities about ever actually mastering the language enough to be fluent.
Do you have [Korean] siblings? That would be a positron. Yes. Four half-siblings. Two on my Korean mother's side and two on my Korean father's side. But at this point I am getting the impression that they know nothing about me. And I do not know whether they will know anything about me in the near future. It's beyond complicated. I also have an uncle and an aunt on my Korean father's side, and two uncles and two aunts on my Korean mother's side. Again, I am not clear as to their knowledge or stance regarding the situation.
I'm sure there are other questions that I'm just not remembering right this moment. If I think of any others, I'll be sure to feed the behemoth.
