Sunday, June 28, 2009

in Korea

This is going to be very brief...we're short on time these days and constantly on the go...

But we are in Korea. I have met each birth parent.

We are currently in Pusan and leaving for Gyeongju today. We'll be on our way to Daegu the day after tomorrow and then back to Seoul.

Each meeting with each birth parent was of course emotional and overwhelming but beautiful and wonderful.

I'm spending more time with my birth mother today. My birth father wants to take our whole tour group out for dinner.

I can't wait to describe the outfit he was wearing for our first meeting...

I wish I could write more...but I've got to get going...

Thank you for all of your support.

I have so much to say...

Friday, June 19, 2009

almost On Our Way

This is going to be a short and concise post.

We're on the verge of the long-anticipated departure for that other world from which I came to be...

We only have three more days until we begin our trek to Korea to meet my birth mother and birth father for the first time since my relinquishment in 1975.

I still cannot believe this is happening.

After seven years of searching and a lifetime of wandering in the darkness, I cannot even begin to express the magnitude and weight of this event.

I feel like a moron trying to elucidate such a profound and inexplicable occurrence with mere words.

I look forward to being able to share this experience with those who would listen...

Thank you everyone for your support and love...I could not face this without each and every one of you.

Monday, June 15, 2009

one Week



It is almost time.

It is almost time to fly.


One more week.

Seven more days.

And we will be making our way to Korea.


How are you feeling? What are you feeling?


I am feeling everything.


My husband and I, of course, will be amidst making all the final preparations for the trip.

I feel like I am in a daze. It is taking hold of me like a fog. Like a dream.


This is happening.


I honestly do not have the words to express this experience. I am unable to communicate the profundity of what is happening.

Its effects extend far beyond what I can perceive.

And with that, there are those deeply troubled by how I have decided to proceed.

Why rock the boat?


This ripple began years ago. As it traveled across the ocean, in all directions, it fed upon the wind.

A ripple is made to grow. To spread.

Even when we can see it no longer, it still travels, still lingers, still makes its way to places unknown. Beyond our control.

I did not drop the stone.

Perhaps, I was the stone. That became a feather. And could only go where the wind and water took me.

Until now.


Until now.

The wind has shifted.

The ripple is bouncing back. Returning to its beginning.

I am not rocking the boat.

I am steadying it.


Now--stone and feather have had time to become something more.

Whole. More complete.

The one who dropped the stone is standing on the shore. The ones who caught the feather are having to let it go.

I hope they know how much I need them. How much I love them.

I cannot help but spread these wings.


Do not forsake me now.

May our weaknesses become our strengths.

There is enough love.

For every mother.

For every child.

I will abandon neither.