Why I need "breaks": First footage of my initial Reunion in 2009

To view the multi-media piece/video, "Reuniting" by Jeanne Modderman, at Vimeo, click here.

I thank Jeanne for giving her time, energy, and heart to telling this story...

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When I take a "break" from the adoption community, it's not that I'm taking a break from dealing with being an adoptee--that's nearly impossible for me, at this point.

Rather, it allows me to be able to deal with my own adoptee issues and experiences. Don't get me wrong, staying busy with processing and answering other people's questions and thoughts about their experiences does in some ways help me to process and answer many of my own questions. But it can also be a distraction.

There comes a time when I get so emotionally over stimulated that I feel about ready to implode. It's then that I realize that I need to take a step back.

Hence, one of the things that has prompted me to feel the need to take a step back and "process," in addition to dealing with pregnancy and pending motherhood, is the above multi-media piece (or you can also click on the title of this post to view the video).

A friend of mine and a fellow Korean adoptee, Jeanne Modderman, finished it about a month ago. She gathered the different video clips and photos during my initial reunion with my Korean mother in June/July of 2009. (I also reunited with my Korean father, but for privacy issues, photos and video must be kept private.)

I've watched the above piece a dozen times. I have been trying to process it over the past month. Every time I watch it, a deep reservoir of thought and emotion stirs.

So much has changed since the reunion--my life, my thoughts, my feelings--who I am. The experience is constantly evolving. Some things I thought then, I don't think anymore. And some things I didn't feel then, I feel all the time now...

I share this with the hope that it will depict reunion, at least from one perspective, in an honest way. But also understand, that this depicts only the beginning. And the beginning of reunion is certainly not the whole picture. It is so much more complex than what any video or photo or word can express or communicate.

So, although you may be tempted to think that this video tells all that needs to be told, it only tells part of the story. Please restrain yourself from assigning a label to it, whether you wish to identify it as a "happy ending" or a "happy beginning" or a "sad beginning" or a "sad ending."

It's all of that and so much more...

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My Keunappa: Chosun Harley Man USA Tour

If you click on the title of this post it will take you to a slideshow of photos that my Keunappa (my Korean Uncle) posted to YouTube from his road trip across the U.S. on his Harley Davidson motorcycle. My Keunappa is my Appa's (my Korean father's) older brother.

He was on the road for over a month. I met my Keunappa last October for the first time when he passed through town as he was wrapping up the final stages of his road trip. And then this January, my husband and I visited him and his two sons.

The only thing the slideshow is missing is matching music. As cliche as it might be, I imagine the song, "Born to be Wild," playing as the slideshow of photos unfolds...

[For an additional video of my Keunappa riding his Harley in traditional male Korean attire, click here.]

Korean commercial for Harley Davidson Motorcycles

I could not resist posting this, particularly knowing now that my birth father has owned a Harley for over 18 years.

I've always associated Harleys with middle-aged white men. (I don't mean this as a socio-political statement, and obviously this commercial shows that Harleys appeal to some other demographics of which I was not aware--besides, I've always liked Harleys myself, and I'm obviously not a middle-aged white man. Ha.) But because of that association in my mind, seeing this commercial just was not quite what I expected. I never knew Harleys appealed to this demographic. But I dig it :)

Just click on the title of this post, and it will take you to the commercial on YouTube.